Real talk letting go is never an easy task. Sometimes even if you were the one that cut that cord. Kills me because alot of people try to brush shit off like it don’t hurt (i used to be one of them) but that shit seems to hurt a little worse the older you get. You may not cry over it like you did when you was younger but with every relationship you think and look at it more than you did the last one. You know that you can’t always blame that other person because people only do to you what you let them. I think that’s what hurts the most and then along with people saying the infamous “I told you so” “You didn’t learn your lesson the first time wit dude”. Guess I didn’t and I guess your right!
Earlier when I started this blog site I posted an article about Long Distance Relationships. (https://mshollandsthoughts.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/long-distance-relationships-can-they-last/) At that time I believed it was all good and I could do a long distance relationship. Ugh Not! The more I soul search I’m not very patient but I’m working on that and I have a hard time trusting people who lied in the past. I’m a firm believer of “benefit of the doubt” and “2nd chances” but when you keep getting slapped in the face it’s not a good sign. What really hurts is when you held your end of the commitment down and still got the short end of the stick. I look back on my past relationship and not just this recent one I see that I’ve just made bad choices. Jumping into things to fast and not stepping back and slowing down. I think I do that because I feel sometimes I don’t have that much time left on my clock to make that decision to have another baby or have a family. Truth be told I have a wonderful family with my babygirl. It’s never to late to add on to that family just might not be the way I’d like to but you know I can’t always control things. God holds the key to my future! It’s nothing wrong with me wanting a husband and maybe one more child. When that time is right I will have that. In saying that sometimes I guess with myself it’s better to take things slow and build a friendship before we build a relationship. Plus I don’t recommend long distance relationships; I personally like having my own space and seeing someone every other weekend isn’t bad. When things start to get complicated such as how my last did then that should have been the first red light it’s time to fall back. Everything be it good or bad that happens in my life I look at it as a learning experience although some experience’s seem to reoccur which leads me to believe i need some more schooling in that area. Money and Love always seems to be those area’s!!! Life is all about learning lessons and sad to say that sometimes we don’t learn the first time but this time I have learned my lesson!!!! I pray I have.
Signing off I still believe in Love!