Being single again for the thousandth time is allowing me some time to think. Some thoughts need to clear my head but same thought that reigns supreme “Why do good girls go after bad boys?” Now my personal opinion I think they even me out. I’m quite somewhat shy not really an aggressive out going type person and they give me that edge that I like. That excitement, the challenge. My issue is I’m not getting the excitement! I’m getting the challenge, more than I bargain for most of time. In a nutshell it’s bullshit and drama. I’m a single mother doing it on my own. That’s challenging enough. I don’t need the extra stress!!!
Now a good male friend of mine told me that he felt similar on the issue. Good girls like the excitement and challenge and the guys go for us because they see us as the calm in the storm which happens to be their life. I can agree with that. Looking back on past relationships, I see every single male of I have been involved with had some type of criminal record. Mostly selling drugs. Not saying I’m high society but I have barely got speeding tickets and only been in 1 fight which was high school. I have had my share of craziness prior to having my daughter but that was short-lived since I had her @ 19.
Still I wonder why I am not attracted to the nice male that has his shit together or at least working on it. Which is why I am trying to reevaluate the men I come across. I am 30 going on 31. I don’t have time for anymore issues. The last relationship was with previous convicted felon who was working on getting himself together. A job wasn’t the issue with this one, we dated previously so we knew each other. We parted before for the same exact reason we parted again this time. Long distance like almost 500 miles, trust issues and lets just call her Cruella. I mean from the stories I’ve heard the name fits her. Not to go into detail but I wasn’t going to compete. Now you can judge but I let God be my judge but I’ve been the other female before but I wasn’t doing it again. He said things were over with them but it’s kinda hard to believe that when pictures and other evidence says something else.
I guess that was just bad judgement on my part because I’ve always heard “men only do to you what you let them”. And ladies that ain’t nothing but the God honest truth!!!! Amen!!! A lot of times I think my kindness is taken for weakness but I work on karma. The old rule what goes around comes right back around.
Another question I used to ask myself is well what was wrong with me that the relationship didn’t last. My only thing I see what bad judgement picking them. Not one to toot my own horn but I’m beautiful all around, and very intelligent but not when it comes to men. I’m learning!!!! I’m not one of them nagging sister’s. All I ask for is trust, respect, and quality time. I don’t want to know where you are 24/7. In the end I know that I just need to not rush into being with someone and use better judgement. A cute face and well dressed don’t mean nothing if you can’t hold up your end of the relationship. Also I think us woman know what we need to do it’s just that we are not practicing what we preach.